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Lunacy Watch 2010: GOP Affected!
Quick! Someone call the CDC because the GOP is suffering from the biggest pandemic outbreak the world has ever seen! Worse than the swine flu, worse than the bubonic plague. They have caught a case of the highly contagious and self destructive disease, Turrets Douchebaggerius Bandwagonitus for which there is only one cure.
The GOP are insane. Let me get this straight, you want to use Taxpayer money IN THIS ECONOMY, to bring a frivolous lawsuit against the both the U.S. departments of Health and Human Services and Treasury and Labor to stop the healthcare bill from going through? This is further proof that the new strain of Turrets Douchebaggerius Bandwagonitus has mutated from it’s original form, Assininus Idiotalapalapillus (President Bush is thought to have suffered from this but now scientist believe he may have been in the early stages of the deadly, Turrets Douchebaggerius Bandwagonitus) and is spreading faster than it has in previous years.
KNOWN CARRIERS
The ENTIRE GOP, the Attorney General’s from Florida, South Carolina, Nebraska, Texas, Michigan, Utah, Pennsylvania, Alabama, South Dakota, Louisiana, Idaho, Washington and Colorado, Former President George W. Bush and his entire cabinet, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck…the list goes on. Please watch for symptoms and protect yourself.
SYMPTOMS
- Incapable having an original thought
- Unwillingness to make decisions that are good for the majority
- Inability to control turret-like outburst
If you are experiencing one or more of these symptoms, you may have been affected and should quarantine yourself immediately. Run to your bathroom, look in the mirror, and Bitch Slap yourself SEVEN times (this is very important, DO NOT USE THE WRONG DOSAGE, it could be fatal) while repeating, “I am a pathetic BITCH who doesn’t care about shit!” If afterwards you are still incapable of doing the right thing, there is only one remedy left. I warn you, it is severe but effective and the results are immediate.
You MUST find Jimmy (pronounced: Jim-Aaaaye). Jimmy (also goes by Daddy, Money, Slim, and Mr.) has perfected the only known effective treatment: The Pistol Whip
To find Jimmy you will need to go “downtown” — Two crack houses past the heroine den, on the right. There you’ll see Jimmy in his natural habitat, wearing a purple velour suit, ALWAYS. Approach Jimmy with some reservation, remember, YOU NEED THIS. When his right eye looks at you, simply say, “Daddy, I don’t want to do this anymore, I want out, I want to live a clean and normal life.” And Jimmy will take care of you. If you survive, you’ll be free.
FOR THOSE NOT YET AFFECTED: Please protect yourself. DO NOT LISTEN TO FOX NEWS or RUSH LIMBAUGH (who is clearly in the last stages). Both are know to exacerbate the disease. FORCE yourself to have ONE original thought each day to stave off the disease. Make sure you WASH YOUR HANDS immediately after any contact with right-wing republicans. And whatever you do, DON’T DRINK THE KOOL-AID.
If left untreated, LUNACY IS IMMINENT.
Well said! This is one big mess! They want to argue that they don’t like the idea of being forced to pay health insurance. Where were they when Statefarm asked for my car insurance payment!
You are kwazy girl. Once again this is a blunt but VERY TRUE ARTICLE!!!!! Yes this is a case of Lunaticitus or whatever. It’s getting out of hand because they feel they are literally losing control of the country. they are scared which is no exuse!!!! Watch The View from Monday, March 22nd. Elizabeth Haselback had an interesting take on things.
AAAAAAgggggghhhhhhhhh, The GOP needs the Wild Wild West Baby!!! To come up in there and set things straight because there’s a new sherrif in town get used to it Peeps!!!!